Losing myself…

Please be aware that some may find this post upsetting.  It is about postnatal depression.  Please don’t read if you are sensitive to such issues.  Please feel free to comment.  I just needed to get these feelings out.

I did that thing… the thing I promised myself that I would never do…I had a baby to save my relationship.  Well, not quite.  I thought my chances of having children were extremely slim – or so I had been told.  Coming off the pill just seemed a natural thing to do… I wanted to give myself a chance to at least try.  We discussed what would happen if I did get pregnant – he said it would be great!  I’m not so sure that he truly meant it, I think he really thought that it would never happen.  He was just trying to make me happy.  Nine days later I am pregnant.

Our situation is not the best.  He has an alcohol addiction and has only just got a job after nine months unemployment.  We are skint and he has thousands of pounds worth of debt, twenty-seven to be exact.  I am not coping with his drinking at all.  I am depressed.  What on Earth was I thinking?  Did I actually think having a baby would stop him drinking?  Maybe I just didn’t think it would happen either…maybe I just didn’t think.  Depression does strange things to you.

The pregnancy is going well.  I’m feeling and looking great.  Everyone around us is so excited and pleased as they knew that this baby was my little miracle.  Pregnancy is suiting me – everyone says so.  I feel great.  My hopes are raised, maybe everything is going to be okay after all.  I am eating healthily.  I follow all the advice written in books.  I read so many books!  I feel knowledgeable and capable.  Everyone tells me I’m going to be a great Mum.  I believe them.  I feel great.  Even he is excited.

I’m eight months now, I’m on maternity leave. I’m home alone – too much time to think… that feeling deep inside, a sinking feeling.  Something not quite right.  I don’t tell anyone – I can cope.  He’s never home – working or at the pub.  Feeling isolated.  I’m anxious, I can’t sleep – just the baby moving around a lot.  I can cope.

I wake early morning.  Contractions…horrendous pain.  Something not quite right.  I tell him I’m fine as he seems concerned.  He goes back to sleep.  I run a bath and try to relax.  The pain comes and goes.  I notice that I’m bleeding a little – I don’t say anything, I’m scared.  A few hours later I wake him – the pain is much worse, the bleeding increased.  He calls the hospital – they tell me to come in immediately.

They tell me baby is fine and on its way.  The bleeding caused by an infection.  Baby is two weeks overdue.  The pain is like nothing I’ve experienced.  I’m told there are complications, I’m not pushing effectively.  They have to help her out – but the cord is around the neck.  They have to be quick.  I’m using too much gas and air – they take it away.  I feel calm.  Weird feeling.  Baby Is out and fine, I hold her for a second – I don’t feel anything… I should feel something.  I’m rushed straight into surgery.

I’m on the labour ward, Daddy is already there.  He has dressed the baby – they are bonding.  I hold the baby – she looks deep into my eyes – she is beautiful – we name her.  I don’t feel anything yet, I cry.  Daddy looks at the nurse – she tells him it’s normal – I’ve been through a lot.  I feel like I’m not in the room.

I hold the baby all night, she won’t sleep.  I had an epidural for surgery, I can’t get out of bed, my buzzer Isn’t working.  I tell the nurse doing rounds – she says she’ll fix it – nothing is done.  I cry all night – baby stares at me like she knows something’s wrong.  Such beautiful big blue eyes.  I cry all night – the nurses say nothing.  It must be normal to feel this way…

We bring baby home.  Everything is well.  I feel a bit better.  Friends and family are visiting a lot so I pretend everything’s great.  I cry a bit – everyone says that it’s baby blues.  The Health visitors come and go, I carry on pretending.  They don’t notice anything is wrong.  The visits die down.  Proud Daddy goes back to work. I’m alone with baby.  Baby stares at me with those big blue eyes – she knows.

Daddy throws himself back into work.  He does a lot of ‘wetting the babies head’.  I barely see him.  Some days I’m in tears when he gets home.  He looks worried but doesn’t know what to do.  I tell him I’m tired – baby doesn’t sleep.  Daddy takes baby from me, walks around a while, she falls straight to sleep.  I cry a bit more.  He doesn’t know what to do.

Daddy thinks baby is Mummy’s job.  Daddy’s life has returned to normal.  He doesn’t help much.  It’s my fault, I’ve alienated him, told him he wasn’t doing things properly.  Kept criticizing.  I didn’t want him to think I couldn’t cope.    I can’t blame him but I resent him anyway and blame everything on his drinking (which wasn’t helping).

Things are starting to get better, baby is easier now that she is older. I’m enjoying it.  Of course, it is time for me to return to work.  Sod’s law.  I tell everyone how great it was, how much I enjoyed it.  I lie.

I feel like I missed out on something special, something that should of been cherished.  I blamed him and his drinking – it didn’t help.   Maybe it wasn’t his fault.  I blame him anyway – I can’t help it.  I lost myself.

Stimulus – Response…

th-26When I decided to give up smoking, I set myself a date and organised all the things I needed to get off to a good start, e.g. patches, quitting info, downloading an app.  I was all set.  As the time drew nearer, I started to find myself beginning to make excuses, ‘I can’t do this, my life is too stressful right now’, ‘as soon as my partner upsets me, I’ll give up – what’s the point?’, ‘the kids are stressing me out’.  I seriously started to talk myself out of it.

When dealing with my children’s behaviour, I notice that sometimes I don’t deal with it particularly well, saying things like ‘you’re stressing me out’, ‘Don’t make me shout’, ‘you’re upsetting me’.

When I argue with my partner we end up rallying with each other over who is the least responsive. ‘You never talk to me’, ‘you never listen to me’, ‘you’re not interested in what I have to say’, ‘you never show any affection’.

All of these scenarios have one thing in common.  They all are reactive ways of behaving.  Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say – they believe they have no choice.  I used to be this way, and still can be on occasion.  Reactive people blame things on their circumstances, their conditions and there conditioning.  They blame other people for their situation, they blame the weather for their lack of motivation.  They do not realise that they have a choice about the way they react to things.

Every moment that we have in our lives provides us with a new choice.  We can choose to make it a positive one or we can choose to make it negative.  We determine what happens in our lives by the choices we make.  When circumstances are beyond our control, we choose how we react to them.

Everyone should take responsibility for their life and stop blaming others.  We all have the freedom to choose. Proactive people understand this.

“Between stimulus and response, you have the freedom to choose.”  Stephen Covey

As a human being we have four qualities which allow this- self awareness, imagination, conscience and independent Will.  Covey says this is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.

 I did manage to give up smoking.  I told myself I could do it regardless of what my circumstances were.  I wrote a post about it, you can read it here. https://patchworkrainbows.wordpress.com/2015/03/17/habits/

I’m beginning to deal with my children much better too.  I lose my temper much less now.  I remind myself that I need to be a role model and their behaviours are a direct response to what is going on around them.  They are not at fault for our situation, so I remember to take it easier on them.  I learnt about child development stages and they are no longer reprimanded for what is ‘normal’ for their age.  I no longer sweat the small stuff.

As for our relationship, it is steadily getting there.  I admit there is a long way to go and much resentment that needs forgiveness.  I try to remember he can’t help the drinking – he has an addiction.  I need to read more about this to help me understand.  I need to be more supportive.  I need to remember that I can choose my response when things go wrong instead of flying off the handle.  I’m getting there slowly… but I will get there.

Room with a View…

th-32If I could be anywhere in the world right now, I would choose to be home.  Home is where the heart is.  Home is where I am at my most comfortable.  Home is where I can be myself.  Home is definitely not wherever I leave my hat!  I am a home bird.

You may think that ‘home’ for me would be where I currently dwell, but this is not the case.  I still feel that my real home is the house  I grew up in.  My parents still live in that house and I am most grateful for that.  It holds so many memories – good and bad.  It is the place where I went from child to teenager to adult – my transformation from caterpillar to butterfly.

It is a very simple three bed council house.  My parents never could afford to buy even till this day.  We lived simply and always just had enough to get by, which in those days was enough.  We learnt about being grateful for what we had and never wished for more.

My sisters and i had a few toys each but we were happy making up our own games, playing outside and making stuff out of boxes!  We didn’t watch much Tv and never had such things as computer games – we couldn’t afford them.  We read books, wrote stories and used our imaginations!

My Mum worked as a cleaning lady in a local school and my Dad was a landscape gardener, so our house was always clean and our garden immaculate.  We were bought up with a strong work ethic and taught to help out others before ourselves.

We went through some very difficult times in this house.  My Mum has Bi Polar which was undiagnosed for many, many years, this was very difficult to deal with as a child and teenager.  It was like living with a ticking time bomb.  None of us knew what was wrong – mental health was not talked about much in those days.  No one ever thought to tell my Mum to see a doctor.  It was just a private incidence in our family.  To everyone else my Mum was just the ‘crazy’ lady who lived down the road.  My dad also couldn’t cope with all this and suffered terrible depression.  We would often find him at the bottom of a bottle of Whisky.

My sister’s moved out during this time as they found it hard to cope.  Both had there own relationships to pursue, they needed to get on with there lives.

I still love the house though.  It is the place that my parents healed and got better.  It symbolises strength and their unity, there ability to work things through.  I admire that so much and it is the main reason I am taking my family through the journey I’m currently going through.

I was the last of the three children to move out.  As we flew the nest one by one, my parents really began to struggle financially as we had all been contributing to the house keeping as soon as we became employed.  I stayed with my parents much longer than I needed just to help them out.  The last two years I was there I paid there rent for them.  I felt I needed to repay them for the period of time when they took care of me, despite their struggles.  Believe me, there were times when I hated living with them and I wanted to walk away but family is family and you support them no matter what.

They came through the bad times and my relationship with them is all the better for it.  They still struggle financially so I now pay my Mum to look after our children whilst I work.  My Mum is much better now but she still has off days, but it’s great that my children are growing up with an understanding of mental health issues which is spoken about openly in our family, (along with Daddy’s addiction and Mummy’s work with PMLD, they are going to be very worldly wise).  I am very proud of that!

So, at the moment I don’t feel like the place I have lived in for coming up seven years is ‘home’.  I actually don’t like it much at all.  I feel guilty about that as it is the place I am bringing up my children.  I then think back to my family home and all the hard times we had there and there is still a sense of nostalgia.  I hope my children will feel this about their home and I hope one day I will feel that way too.  At the moment there are so many bad memories, but I feel hope as I plan to replace them with good ones!  That is what my blog is all about!

Note:  I absolutely realise that I have gone off on a tangent.  The prompt was supposed to be a descriptive place, whereas I’ve gone on more of a nostalgic journey!  I hope you enjoyed anyway! X

Spring…

th-12Here is my 20 minute stream of consciousness for Writing 101.

Today is a beautiful Spring day.  The sun is shining and the sky is blue.  The weather is finally warmer…for now.  Today was also the day I chose to take the children for their Spring walk!  An Easter holiday tradition!

I love Spring, it is my second favourite season next to Autumn.  If I could have my way the New Year would be in Spring, it would make so much more sense with all the new stuff that is happening.  Who has ever managed to start anything new on January 1st?  Those New Year resolutions never seem to work out do they?  In my opinion this is down to the time of year, the cold weather and the fact that many of us may still be a little bit hungover from the night before!  Never a good start to anything except maybe spending the day under a duvet!

The start of Spring gives us all a little hope and motivation for the warmer weather to come and everything is just starting to look beautiful.  The trees are blossoming, the birds are chirping and the sun warms our faces and hearts.  We all feel brand new and rejuvenated!  We all get warm and fuzzy over baby animals!

We plan the Spring cleaning, we clear out, de-clutter and detox.  New beginnings are happening all around us.  The days are getting longer so that we have more daylight to do all these things in.  Whenever I’m planning a big change, I always start it in the Spring.  I started this blog in the Spring, and it is helping me step by step to transform my life and my family.

All the R’s are at work – rebirth, rejuvenation, renewal, resurrection and re-growth.

So with all my ramblings I bid you all a very happy New Year.

5/4/15 – Building Rome…

Over the last week I challenged myself to complete the following goals:

Write a ‘Family’ post

I wrote a post reflecting on how my life is like an aeroplane flight.  I talked about what things make my family off course and what things make us stay on track.  I looked at the things which affected us in both positive and negative ways.  I looked at the things I have already done to improve our situation and I looked to the future to find ways of improving things further.  You can read this post here: https://patchworkrainbows.wordpress.com/2015/04/01/destination-anywhere/

Have a family meeting with my children

Daddy’s LIttle Princess (DLP) decided that she wanted to call our family meeting ‘Planning’.  This is something they have in reception class at school where they decide on the activities they want to choose for the afternoon.  It seemed quite fitting so we are going to stick with it!

We started off with a little game.  I blindfolded DLP and lead her to a place in the house where returning to the starting point would be a little difficult but not unsafe.  I spun her around a few times for good measure.  I then told DLP that it was now her job to find her way back to the starting point.  DLP tried to return and seemed very nervous and worried.  After a moment I asked her if she would like some help or clues, she said yes.  I then directed her back to the starting point with instructions such as ‘move forward five steps’, ‘turn right’ etc.  When she was safely back I asked her if it was hard to find her way when she couldn’t see and had no instructions, she replied yes.  I then let Mummy’ s Little Soldier (MLS) have a turn.

Afterwards we sat down together and talked about us going through life together as a family and how sometimes we can’t see the future.  We talked about how we sometimes need assistance or clues to help us get to our destination.  We talked about how wonderful it was to have a family to rely on.  I helped them to understand how this was related to the game.

After the game we sat down and brainstormed some ideas for activities for the next week as I am going to be on annual leave.  We came up with the following list:  going on a train trip, a Spring walk, Making chocolate Easter nests, going out for lunch, going to the toy shop, going to the park, visiting Nanny and Grandad, Zentangling, buying new school shoes, school work and reading and arts and crafts!

I have also set the children and myself a little challenge.  We all have to think of one helpful thing and one kind thing we can do for each member of the family daily.

A fun bonding activity

This week we decided to make fairy cakes.  Both DLP and MLS really enjoyed this.  So much measuring, weighing, stirring and seiving was done and a great big mess made.  So much fun!

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Liebster Award no 2

I was nominated again by the lovely https://bekitschig.wordpress.com/

You can read my post here: https://patchworkrainbows.wordpress.com/2015/04/02/liebster-award-2-2/

My goals for next week are:

  • Continuing with our ‘Planning’ and bonding activities and complete as many of the activities the children chose as possible.
  • Complete the ‘Love in ten sentences challenge’.  Nomination by the lovely Edwina at http://edwinasepisodes.com/
  • Make a start on Writing 101
  • Write at least two posts on the first habit – Be Proactive.

Destination Anywhere…

th-24The last week has been a bit up and down for me.  I have found myself reflecting on the concept of life being much like an aeroplane flight.  If you missed the post you can read about that here : https://patchworkrainbows.wordpress.com/2015/03/27/family-planning/

I am starting to have a much better idea of what I would like my final ‘destination’ to be – although I’m sure my thoughts and ideas will change along the way as I grow as a person.  Also ‘my’ destination will have to become an ‘our’ destination at some point as I slowly start to involve other members of the family.

There are going to be plenty of times when we are going to be ‘off course’.  Just this last week I have had two evenings when Daddy has come home at 2 am extremely drunk when he is supposed to be looking after the kids the next morning (I leave for work at 6am).  So that’s two extra days off work – which I won’t get paid for, not only that I only received a promotion a month ago – so it’s not exactly a good start.  I am also currently sleeping on the sofa because I just can’t cope with his alcohol sweats, snoring and flatulence!  So I’m getting a lot of flack for that.

Other times when we are off course include times of stress.  These are usually for me when I am tired – taking too much responsibility for kids, not sleeping well due to the above, coping with his drinking, sleeping on the sofa!  For Daddy stress mainly boils down to having a bad time at work or dealing with me after he has been drinking! (He says).

Periods of stress then generally lead on to periods of conflict.  We have been snapping and back biting at each other since the drinking episodes, things are just finally starting to ease down again, and everything seems to get forgotten about and we carry on – till the next time.  Really stuck in a rut with this one…

I also worry about the future.  What effect will all this tension have on the children?  What am I going to do once they have flown the nest?  Are we going to make it?

On a more positive note, I have had some great ‘on course’ moments this last week or so.  On the days when Daddy has been able to look after the kids, he has not taken them to the pub with him which is his usual course of action (he doesn’t have more than a pint, but I still don’t like the associations that the kids will think this is a normal everyday activity).  On three occasions recently he has actually taken them to the park!  Three different parks at that.  This is a huge improvement and I hope he keeps it up.  I guess some of my being more positive and supportive is getting through somewhere, particularly surprising as it’s been such a dodgy week.

I have also brought up the idea of a family meeting with the kids and they are very excited about it.  Daddy’s LIttle Princess (DLP) wants to call it ‘planning’.  They do this in nursery and reception class.  So DLP has been drawing lovely pictures all week of the activities she would like to do over the Easter holidays.  Even Mummy’ s Little Soldier (MLS) has come up with an idea!  I know DLP has also mentioned it to Daddy and he seemed to be going along with it!  So more progress here.

Our biggest issue is dealing with the 2 am drinking binges.  Sometimes I deal with this well, sometimes not.  Overall I deal with it much better than I used to.  I used to go crazy – shouting and screaming, ringing him until he had ridiculous amounts of missed calls and him eventually turning his phone off.  That was when I had serious coping problems and most likely depression.

Since those days I decided to calm down.  I learnt about the Circle of Influence and the Circle of concern.  I realised I had more control than I thought.  I realised I could not change him.  I realised that only he could change his addiction – it was out of my circle of influence.  Instead I made him aware of the following ground rules for him and myself:

  • When I’m looking after the children the next day, he may do as he pleases until whatever time.
  • When he looks after the children the next day, he needs to be back by midnight. (He does this more often than not.)
  • He needs to get his priorities straight.  He can be back at a reasonable time when he has to work the next day.  His children should be more important than this.
  • If I have to miss work due to him.  I will take my lost salary from his bank account. (I control the finances as he once got us 27k in debt.)
  • I will not constantly ring him.  It does not help.
  • I will not confront him when he gets home drunk.
  • If I take too many days off work,I may eventually lose my job, he will then be the breadwinner (which he can’t afford).  He will need to accept this.

These things have actually reduced the incidences, and I’m extremely lucky I have an understanding boss.  If anyone else has any ideas, I would love to here them as I need all the help I can get!

th-15I have to keep telling myself it’s never too late.  It has been encouraging to see improvements at this early stage.  I keep trying to remember the story of the Chinese Bamboo Tree.  At first you see just a little shoot – maybe even for many years, then all of a sudden you will see great growth and strength.  I just have to keep trying.

29/3/15 – Building Rome…

Over the last week I challenged myself to complete the following goals:

Extending my Brand

I looked into this and thought that it might not suit my particular blog right now.  I already had a gravatar (which I had no idea of and have no clue of when and how I managed it!).  I thought about Facebook, Twitter etc but wasn’t really sure what I would do with them.  I know you can send out a link to your new posts etc, but I figured my followers are already going to get an email so there is no point in bombarding them from every angle.  I suspect that would be quite irritating.  I love Pinterest but again not too sure how it would fit in right now.

If anyone has any thoughts or ideas on this I will definitely take them into consideration.

Starting a Regular Feature

I decided to write a feature monthly called ‘Letters to my Children’.  My March post is here:

https://patchworkrainbows.wordpress.com/2015/03/25/march-2015-letters-to-my-children/

This feature is about the lessons I have learnt in my life and the ones I am learning along the way.  I also want to write things down that I can’t yet explain to my children as they are too young to understand.  So, if one day they need me to explain anything to them, there may be a record of it here.

Please let me know what you think.

Posting Schedule

I want to keep my blog quite flexible and post as and when things occur.  I will try to do at least two posts a week plus ‘Building Rome’ and my monthly feature ‘Letters to my children’.  It will vary.  I plan to do a weekly ‘Random Acts of Kindness’ post at some point in the future.  I also receive awards and Challenges often so will plan to complete one of these a week as well.

Liebster Award

I finally completed my Liebster Award challenge.  I was nominated by the very talented John Zokovitch – http://johnjzokovitch.com/

You can read my answers here:

https://patchworkrainbows.wordpress.com/2015/03/26/liebster-award-2/

My Goals for this Week

  • Write another post for my ‘Family’ page.
  • Start having a weekly family meeting with my children.
  • Plan a fun bonding activity with the children.
  • Complete the questions for another Liebster Award.  Nomination by the lovely https://bekitschig.wordpress.com/

Family planning…

th-24I have been giving a lot of thought recently into what kind of family culture I would like my own family to have.  What am I hoping for?  I came up with the following ideas:

  • I would like my children to be brought up in a stable family unit.  I want them to see what a healthy relationship looks like.  I want them to know that relationships should be loving, respectful and supportive.  I want them to understand that their parents are also separate beings who allow each other space to grow as individuals.  I want my children to understand that their will be conflict and that there are mature, respectful ways to settle such differences.  I want this kind of relationship with my partner.
  • I want my children to feel loved, safe and secure.  I want them to know that I will encourage their development and interests without being overbearing.  I want them to have faith that I will notice what ‘sparks’ them and fills them with passion and I will do everything in my power to support these things.  I want my children to gradually gain independence when they are ready with no pressure.  I want my children to be the best version of themselves they can be and to have solid values and live by their principles.

This is the place I wish to get to.  Reading it back to myself it seems achievable but it will take a lot of hard work and commitment as it is still very far from the place I am currently in.

Stephen Covey compares our plans about the future of our families to the flight of an aeroplane.  The pilot starts off with a flight plan to get to his destination, but along the way their is wind, rain, turbulence and air traffic which makes us deviate from our flight plan.  So most of the time the plane is not even on track at all.  What we have to remember is that barring any major incidences the flight will always arrive at it’s destination.  During the flight the pilot receives feedback which allows him to make adjustments along the way.

Stephen Covey says “The hope lies not in the deviations but in the vision, the plan, and the ability to get back on track.

I look forward to developing my vision for an improved family culture and hope to come up with my very own family mission statement.

So, how am I going to get there?  What will my particular flight plan be?  Stephen Covey says you always need to start with self.  Therefore:

  • I will strive to create a stable family unit and a healthy relationship.  I will be more loving.  I will be more respectful.  I will be more supportive.  I will allow my partner space to grow as an individual.  I will find mature, respectful ways to deal with our differences and I will create this kind of relationship with my partner.
  • I will love my children unconditionally. I will keep my children safe and secure.  I will encourage their development and interests.  I will not be overbearing.  I will notice their ‘sparks’ and passions and I will support them.  I will let my children gain independence when they are ready.  I will not be a pushy parent.  I will allow my children to be the best they can be and I will teach them to live by their values and principles.

They will learn as I learn and I will be a good role model.  I think it is important to involve the children in the process from the start as the habits will then become part of their lives.  I am not ready to involve my partner just yet, but hopefully with time I can become what Covey calls an ‘agent of change’.  I will use the principles in the 7 habits to help me along the way.

Other things I would like to add to my flight plan include:

  • Having a weekly family meeting to plan, communicate, teach values and have fun together.
  • Having regular one to one bonding times with each member of the family doing something they choose to do.

th-15I know I need to be patient.  Stephen Covey tells the story of the Chinese Bamboo tree to reflect this.  The seed is planted and then you see nothing except a tiny shoot for the next four years, all the growth is occurring underground.  In the fifth year the Chinese Bamboo tree grows up to eighty feet!

Winston Churchill once quoted we must “never, never,NEVER give up!”

I completely agree, no matter how far we have deviated from our flight plan, we can always adjust and arrive at our destination.

March 2015 – Letters to my Children…

th-20

Dear Daddy’s Little Princess and Mummy’s Little Soldier,

You are my world.  I never thought I would have the opportunity to be a mother and I can honestly say that it is the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced.  You are my miracles.

I want you to understand why I am writing this blog.  I want you both to grow up understanding the hard work and commitment it takes to hold a family together.  I want you to know that the people you love and the relationships you develop will be the most important part of your life, far more important than anything you’ll ever own.

Your Daddy and I have been through many difficult times, but we have always managed to get through them.  There were many times when it would of been easier to walk away but our love kept us strong.  When someone you love has an addiction, you either walk away or support them.  I will support your Daddy no matter what because I know that underneath it all there is still a good person who will come back to us someday.

I know it has been difficult for you both, but I promise I will do everything I can to keep you safe.  I will be a more patient mummy and I will learn to deal with my resentment towards your Daddy which causes a bad atmosphere for us all.  I will change myself to influence those around me.

I’m feeling really positive about it.  I know that our future is going to be great!

Lots of love

Mummy.

X

22/3/15 – Building Rome…

th-14As part of my Blogging 101 course we were asked to choose a blogging event to participate in.  I have chosen ‘Building Rome’ which occurs weekly on a Sunday.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_event/building-rome/

I felt that this event would fit in nicely with my blog.  This event is about setting yourself goals to complete to enable you to get to the place you want to be.  I want to make several major changes in my life to help pull my family back together, so making little changes each week will help me focus on my overall goal.

I’m starting off small.  My first priority is to catch up with my Blogging 101 course.  So here are my goals for next week:

  1. Extending my brand.
  2. Adding a regular feature
  3. Having a posting schedule
  4. Writing my post for my Liebster Award, kindly nominated by John Zokovitch.

Wish me luck – Rome wasn’t built in a day!